Nicholas Brendon Audioblog Update July 19, 2010, Part 1
Hello everybody. This is Nicholas Brendon calling on the telephone. Calling on the wireless telephone … that’s attached to my ear so that I can hear you clearly.
Hello? I can’t hear anybody. Hey! I can’t hear. Hello?
Attached to my ear so that I may hear you clearly.
You guys, I’m not hearing a thing. I can’t hear them. And I’m saying exactly, “Attached to my ear so that I may hear them clearly.” No, there’s nothing. I can’t hear them.
All right. Well, I guess since I can’t hear you, I’ll do the talking. Got a bunch of questions here, and I’m going to answer every single one. The ones that – I guess Jacqui went through them, and if ones were mean or inappropriate, I guess she weeded those out. She weedened them out. OK, but I’m got, let’s see here .. [Editor’s note: He counts the questions. Forgive me. This is 16 minutes long. – jacqui] I’d say about 14 questions. So, here, we go:
Question No. 1: Nick: Is it true that they called you Nick the Dick in high school, and does your penis have veins all over?
I don’t know how this one got through. Jacqui, that’s weird. … No, that wasn’t the first one.
First question, from Neil Hopkins Harris: Question: Everyone thinks Jacqui is totally awesome, do you agree? [Editor’s note: OK, look, I didn’t really think he’d answer everything. jacqui]
Yes, I do agree. Because after I’m done with this, she is going to transcribe it all. But she is totally and uniquely awesome for more reasons than just her transcribing ability.
OK, alternatively, ask him if he has any desire to play a super villain, or an extremely dark character, anything as such that is complete opposite to our sweet-natured Xander?
Yeah, I would love to, now. You know, I think, you know, Xander was awesome. Seven years of being sweet, and watching, and that was the power of, the power of looking and seeing, I think that I got some dark inside of me that I would love to get out. I would love to get it out legally, if you know what I’m talkin’ about. I would love to get into a fight, and have a camera rolling, and then after the fight was done, not have to go to jail for a year. That’s what I would love.
So, I would love to play a dark character. And I’m sure I will one day. And hopefully I do it justice and you guys still love me.
Thank you, Neil Hopkins Harris. I wish I knew where you guys were from.
Elizabeth Ann. She says: Pretend I don’t live in L.A. What’s the best (in your opinion) place to go for food? And what touristy (or even not known about) places should I visit? California native to California native: Is there anything better than California cheese from Happy Cows?
Now, we’re assuming that all cows are happy, and, I am not a cow doctor. So, I can’t even begin to tell you if the cheese that I eat comes from a happy cow. Or maybe … the cows could all just be terrified. Scared shitless, knowing that something’s up, man. Something’s rotten in Denmark. And the cheese that we’re eating? Is cheese that’s filled with fear. Maybe you wouldn’t like the taste of cheese from a happy cow. Think about it.
But I do love cheese.
Uh, what’s the best place to go for food in Los Angeles? Let me think here. … You know, there’s a place in Malibu called the Saddle Peak Lodge. The Saddle Peak Lodge has been around since I think about 1870, and it’s nestled in the hills, in the bottom of these valleys in Malibu – I mean, like, deep in the Malibu mountains. And they’ve survived, like, a solid 30 fires through the years. The structure’s still up. It’s this old hunter’s lodge that men would go to in the 1800s and hunt, the game and stuff there. They’ve turned it into a restaurant, and … it feels like you’re going back in time. They’ve done such an amazing job restoring everything. And you just feel like you’re in this hunting lodge.
And the food they have there – now, you have to eat meat. You know, I wouldn’t have a vegan go there. But they serve kind of exotic meats, you know. Like, bear. When bear is in season, they’ll serve bear. A lot of buffalo. … I would say, if you’re in town … like, I try and go there, like, once every three years, because of the experience. They’ve got a lovely wine list and wine selection, but, y’know, guys, when I used to drink, I never drank and ate. You know, it wasn’t like, “Oh, I’ll pair this wine with my buffalo.” You know, like, if I was drinking, I wasn’t eating. But, the Saddle Peak Lodge, I love.
And the coolest place to go: There’s a place, and it’s kind of childish, but it’s really kind of sweet at the same time. There is this public beach house called the Annenberg Beach House, or public pool house. It’s $10 to get in. It used to be Marion Davies, the actress, her old mansion in Malibu, that William Randolph Hearst built for her because Marion Davies was Hearst’s concubine – his mistress. And they built this, I think 30,000 square-foot house.
The ’94 quake kind of demolished the house, but the Annenberg gave the city of Santa Monica $27 million to kind of rehab that land there, it’s like 2 acres. And the original pool is intact, and that’s the pool that you use. It’s marble, and tile, and it’s just really great. Again, you’re kind of going back in time. And it’s right on the beach. So, you kind of go in, you get your little lounge chair at the pool, and then you can walk to the beach and swim in the ocean for an hour, and then come back to your chair and read, and swim in this glorious pool. It’s just my favorite thing to do in Los Angeles. It gives me chills just talking about it.
So those would be my two favorite things in Los Angeles. And that came from Elizabeth Ann, who apparently lives in Los Angeles.
OK, Jamie Aitchison: Did working on any particular episode (or the series in general) ever give you nightmares? (Jacqui. Awesome.)
Um, no. No, I never got nightmares from anything. Not from episodes that I’ve done. Not from scary monsters. I’ve gotten them from people that I’ve worked with along the way, and they’ve tried to kill me or something, but I haven’t, nothing from a particular episode.
Emily Miller: TEIM EDWARD OR TEEM JACOB OMG!!!!1!! I LUV U!
I love you, too, Emily. I think I would be on Team Go Suck a Dick. ‘Cause I loooove sucking dicks.
I don’t know what team I would be on, because every time I hear Team Edward or Team Jacob, I just think that they’re about to break out and dance and just start rubbing each other’s backs with oil — not that there’s anything wrong with homosexuality — but it just sounds a little gay to me. But I would be on Team Sucks a Dick. Which I think is the Indian character in that. … Maybe that’s the next movie. I think Captain Sucks a Dick, is the father of somebody.
I would probably have to go with Team Jacob, just because I feel sorry for him. It almost looks like he has Down’s syndrome. But don’t tell him that. And if I’m pissing anybody off? Well, then why are you here? This is what I do.
OK, Emily. More questions here: Uh oh. Computer. Do you have any hidden talents or special skills?
I’m a writer of poetry. I’m a writer of short stories. I’m a decorator. I’ve painted. I take pictures. I’m a fairly good photographer. And I want to continue to build these things. I want to learn how to play a musical instrument, and I would love to learn how to speak a foreign language. And I think I’m really good at, like, listening to people. You know? And being nice. And the hidden talents of patience. For people.
In 10 years of doing conventions and being a sci-fi/fantasy idol, any of that geekiness rubbed off on you? Any 12-sided dice hiding in your closet? Oftentimes, my household’s sponges accumulate an awful amount of buildup. What can I do to prevent this?
All right. Any geekiness rubbed off onto me? Um, are you asking if I’ve had sex with anybody? “Any geekiness rubbed off onto me?” Yeah. I guess you’re asking if I’ve had sex with anybody.
Um, I wear Underoos under all of my clothes. I was at the Dodger game today, and there was somebody there dressed as Harry Potter. I was with a friend, and she said, “Oh, look, it’s Harry Potter,” and I’m like, “Where?” and I missed him, and then I come back, and it’s like, “Oh, look, it’s Harry Potter.” I thought he was going to be like, 7 or 8. The dude was probably pushing 36. And he was in the full Harry Potter regalia, y’know. And all I wanted to do was give him a hug. That’s all I wanted to do. I’m like, “Dude. Come here. Get over here. When’s the Quidditch match? I really want to support you.” You don’t go to a Dodger game dressed up as Harry Potter when you’re 36. But I did want to give him a hug.
OK, and then: Oftentimes, my household’s sponges accumulate an awful amount of buildup. What can I do to prevent this?
Last time I checked? Household sponges are not a precious metal or a precious stone. So I would throw them away. And buy more household sponges. That’s what I would do to prevent this. And if you wouldn’t mind sending one my way? I just want to do some tests on it. Because I think I can probably cure cancer with what you have stored up in your household sponges.
Carlie [Editor’s note: He misread the name. – jacqui] Limbert: What is your personal definition of success?
You know, that’s a really good question [Carlie]. Now, my personal definition of success involves integrity, you know. It involves being happy with what you’re doing. Not forcing anything.
I thought that it was always what project am I working on, and kind of measuring myself up to other actors. And that never made me happy. And I’ve now really kind of come to understand that, really kind of being of service with other people, you know, helping people. And I’m a writer, and if I’m not writing every day, then I feel a little less than. So, y’know, my definition of success is to have a couple kids. And have a couple houses – and a woman, if she chooses to be with me. And live a fulfilling life. While giving away what I have, in terms of my time. Sometimes money. And emotion, you know. That’s what I see as happy. Going to bed and knowing that you’ve done good in the day. Going to bed, having done more selfless things than selfish things.
I think that, for me, is awesome. And I’m still working on it. But, yeah. Good question. And, hopefully, a fairly decent answer.
DeeDee Norman Henry: Chunky or Creamy? Inquiring minds wanna know! And what is Jacqui’s secret to being so awesome? Oh!! I got another one! Do you baby-sit? 
OK. Chunky or creamy? Chunky. Unless, of course, it’s sperm. Inquiring minds wanna know. Again, chunky, unless it’s sperm. And if it is chunky sperm, I just need to ask my fellow, you know, why is it chunky? And if I get a fine answer, then I’ll start chewing. ‘Cause I don’t wanna judge people.
What is Jacqui’s secret to being so awesome? She takes three pills a day. They’re awesome pills. One in the morning, one just after lunch, and one right after the one she took after lunch. I know you thought I was going to say nighttime, but no. She doesn’t take two at lunch: She takes one after lunch, and then one just after lunch. So, it’s kind of like, I’m not sure. There was a whole math equation that goes around her three popping of awesome pills. I’m not a doctor, so I don’t know what it’s about. But it’s true.
Oh and also, do I baby-sit? Yes, I do baby-sit. Wait, and then there’s a wink after that. So is the baby winking at me, or is DeeDee asking if I baby-sit and then is she winking at me? Because if the baby’s winking at me, I probably shouldn’t baby-sit. But if DeeDee’s winking at me, then I’ll baby-sit.
Parts 2 and 3 coming later today. Because it’s late here. — jacqui
That was hilarious…and educational (love the tips about where to go in Malibu! ) Got my morning off to a great start. I’m grinning from ear to ear. Thanks to both Nick for being so entertaining and Jacqui for her awesome transcribing skills.
love this! just what i needed to wake up to! now i can go and take my final knowing the importance of cow happiness and when chunky is better than creamy. (OK, yeah, I only read mine, DeeDee, and Emily’s answers so far… but they are awesome! and i’ll read the rest later this morning!)
Jacqui~ your awesomeness is undefinable. i bow to you.
This made my morning.
And if the so-called Happy Cows are really just cow’s that are filled with fear? Well I love my cheese so keep on scaring those cows!
I was also in the middle of watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, so the HP reference had me tickled plaid. Geeks make me happy.
And Jacqui, keep taking those awesome pills!
Okay, first, lest anyone think I have kitchen full of salmonella, it was a joke. Secondly, Nick is incorrect. It’s Edward that looks vaguely retarded. Though the judges will accept his answer on the basis that they do indeed seem one constipated look away from either launching into a choreographed dance fight or an oiled up wrestling match. His comments intimating homosexual fellatio will be stricken from the record as redundant.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Amanda Phillips, Nicholas Brendon. Nicholas Brendon said: Nicholas Brendon Audioblog Update: Nick answers fan questions … a lot of them! http://bit.ly/aUhzYa — jacqui [...]
Nick, you are a fount of hilarity! I’ve always wondered about the happiness of happy cows. Now I know where to go eat in California besides that $3 hamburger joint, which was really good too, thanks to Elizabeth. The Dalek questions still stands.
Do you shoot SLR or DSLR?
I read it but I feel bad that I did. I read it while my new dog, Oreo, from the SPCA looked over my shoulder, and I feel like it kind of confused her moral center. I’m pretty sure she’s confused. She, my old dog Zooey and I are going to walk and talk now. I’m going to have to figure out how to fix this. :sigh:
Hey Jacqui-
Don’t you mean “Whedon-ed” them out?
Just wondering…
There is more to me than Joss-related endeavors. But you’re allowed to substitute words as you wish. I’m cool with that.
That’s awesome! Having fun reading all this! Good job, Jacqui! You ARE awesome! And Nick, Mike & I will call you about babysitting. It’s your little buddy Oz.
(That’s us winking, not Oz. He doesn’t know how to wink yet, but you’ll be the first to know when he does, lol)
hey team jacob all the way but have he seen any of the twilght movies because he should there good well i think there good I was allways say buffy ripoff but I was reading the book and there good.
Hey Nick…Good to hear from you again! I hope you feel fine! I just wanted to leave you some hugs and love…I´ll never forget how much you helped me going to hard times in my life. You`re words always inspired me to never give up! xoxo