Nicholas Brendon at nickbrendon.com: The official Web site

Spectrum Magazine
By Craig Miller

Xander the Survivor!

Talk about a quick rise to fame: Nicholas Brendon had been acting for only about a year before landing the role of Xander Harris on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He made his television debut in a Clearasil commercial, appeared on The Young and the Restless and Married … With Children, and starred in a pilot, Secret Lives. Other than that, he played an evil corn follower in a feature film, Children of the Corn III – Urban Harvest and starred in Los Angeles theater productions of The Further Adventures of Tom Sawyer, My Own Private Hollywood and Out of Gas on Lovers’ Leap. He also worked briefly as a production assistant on Dave’s World.

Then he landed the role of Xander, giving weight to a character that is primarily a comic relief part. Aided by Buffy creator Joss Whedon’s oversight and some high-quality scripts, Brendon has fleshed out what started as a simplistic, one-note role to one of sometimes surprising depth.

The first hit came during the sixth episode of the initial season, “The Pack,” in which Brendon turned in an exceedingly creepy performance as a nasty, violent Xander possessed by an evil spirit. In the second season, “Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered” provided an opportunity for Brendon to display both dramatic and comedic abilities, and he never missed a beat. The current season has provided even more opportunities for Brendon to shine, particularly in “Dead Man’s Party,” the second episode, in which Xander lashed out in anger at Buffy, who had gone AWOL.

Craig Miller interviewed Nicholas Brendon on Nov. 4, 1998. Our thanks to Patty Triplett and Sharron (WB Publicity) and Brendon’s publicist, Troy Nankin, for assistance in arranging the interview, and of course to Nicholas Brendon for taking time out of a busy schedule to talk with us.

Miller: You were fairly new to the acting profession when you landed the role of Xander. How grueling was the audition process for you in getting the part?
Brendon: It wasn’t that bad. It was just boom-boom-boom-boom. I went four different times, and then they told me I had a part on a show.

CM: Had you seen the Buffy movie? Did you know what they were trying to do with the TV series?
NB: Oh yeah, yeah. And then I read the script, and the script was what Joss [Whedon] wanted it to be, which I felt was better than the movie.

CM: Nowadays, networks allow very little time for a series to establish an audience. Considering that Buffy arose from a not overly successful feature film, how confident were you early on that the show would survive without the network axe?
NB: I think being on a network like the WB at the time was beneficial for both parties. And I think that Buffy has helped to launch that network and make it the fastest-growing network right now on TV. You know, I had faith in Joss, and I was rereading the scripts, so for me it was pretty easy. I had faith that the network would actually let us develop the show.

CM: At the time that you came on to the show, how many scripts had been done?
NB: I’m not sure, I mean, he had the pilot script, and we just went off of that, because you shoot the pilot, and then they pick you up off of that. And then after it was picked up, he just went to his writing!

CM: Xander is one of the characters that has deepened more than some others as the show has progressed.
NB: Yes.
CM: How would you describe the difference between the early Xander and the current one?
NB: Not as all-over-the-place. A bit more secure. Not as sexually pathetic as he once was. Doesn’t really want to learn much, but will experience.

CM: Do the writers let you know the general long-term arc development of the character?
NB: Yeah, sometimes, but then it’s getting to the point where it’s kinda better not to know. We’ll have conversations and we’ll say, “What’s going on?” because we just get excited about it. But then you have to realize, just show up to work, do my stuff and go.

CM: Do you have much input in recommending directions for the character?
NB: No. We’ll discuss it and come up with other things, but it’s all Joss Whedon.

CM: In fact, that was my next question: how “hands-on” is Joss in such developments? Some executive producers barely show up, others are there every day.
NB: He’s there every day.

CM: So he’s in control of all the long-term developments and mapping out the direction of the show.
NB: Yeah. He’s got his hand in everything.

CM: Your first great episode in portraying Xander was “The Pack,” where you got to portray a quite different Xander – violent and evil. Recently “Dead Man’s Party” showed us a brief glimpse of a forceful and angry Xander. Do you think the character has an underlying intensity beneath the superficial goofiness?
NB: I know Nick does. Yeah, definitely. I think he’s a kid who’s in touch with his emotions very well, so I think when he’s bothered, he’ll say something about it, and that’s what’s been going on.

CM: You have great on-screen chemistry with all of the female co-stars you’ve been paired up with – Sarah Michelle Gellar [Buffy], Alyson Hannigan [Willow], and Charisma Carpenter [Cordelia]. Talk a little bit about working with each of them.
NB: Yeah, let’s see. Sarah is nice to work with. She’s very professional. She’s been around for a while, so I’ve learned a lot from her. And the same with Alyson. She’s very sweet and gives you a lot in the scene. And Charisma, there’s that whole chemistry thing – she has great timing with her jokes, and it’s nice to work off of that, to work off of somebody like that. You just go bam-bam-bam-bam-bam. It’s really hard to define them in words, so let me sing it for you! [Laughter] No, I don’t have a song for you.

CM: Well, you know, in last night’s episode [“Homecoming”], Xander and Willow seem to renew a tentative romance from the first season. Should we read something into that, or is it a throwaway scene that they want to tease us with?
NB: We kissed. We’ll see what happens.

CM: Your great second-season episode was “Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered” – that seemed to be the “Xander episode” for the year.
NB: Right.

CM: Do you have any comments in particular about the filming of that episode?
NB: It was fun to do. It was nice to be busy; it was nice to have a lot to do. And I like the episode a lot. I thought it came out really well. Other than that, uh, I just got to play a lot with the comedy and the timing and just the whole – like a ribbon wrapping around a pole. [Laughter] I had a lot of fun doing it.

CM: And it was great to see the return of Amy [Elizabeth Anne Allen] from the first season.
NB: Yeah. It was nice. They’re very good with that kind of stuff.

CM: It was a little surprising to see Xander blackmailing her – although she uses the word before he does. There’s a little more to Xander than we may have guessed before!
NB: Yes. Exactly.

CM: He doesn’t seem to have many qualms about doing whatever he thinks he needs to.
NB: No, no. He’s a survivor.

CM: Will the series continue to move along more or less in “real time,” or will you guys stay in high school for ages?
NB: No, it’s real time. We’re in college next year. Yeah. This is our senior year.

CM: Maybe I’m making too big a deal of this, but your hairstyle changed between seasons one and two. You had bangs at first, which made you look younger, like you belonged in high school. Then it was brushed back, and you looked like a college guy. Whose choice was that?
NB: Yeah. In the beginning my hair was long, and I liked it that way. But the network wanted me to cut it because they couldn’t see my eyes, and now pretty much every day it’s changing, because I’m not really a fan of short hair. So it was the network’s idea initially to cut it, but I would like to have it long again. You know, it is what it is. It’s just hair. And a kid in high school is going to have a different hairstyle every day!

CM: The new issue of Entertainment Weekly calls Buffy “as dramatically satisfying as Homicide, ER, and NYPD Blue,” which is pretty high praise right there. Do you have a preference for the humor- or the drama-dominated episodes?
NB: I think the balance is what makes the show work. You need the comedy; you need the drama; you need everything. It’s like the puppet master – pull the string, pull the string. It’s like The Truman Show — okay, intercept, intercept! It’s just a very, very delicate mix. But we’ll have story arcs where it needs to become more dramatic. And you go through that, like a five- or six-episode art, and then boom! Because in TV, things don’t heal. At least on our show, things don’t heal the next episode. There’s a carryover factor, which is nice. But I like the comedy a lot, since that’s my part.

CM: Twenty years ago it was rare to find a TV series that mixed comedy and drama, but now more and more series are doing it — The X-Files, Xena, and others. Buffy does a lot of it, and you really don’t know when you tune in whether you’re going to get comedy or drama, and it makes it kind of exciting.
NB: It’s great, and we’re kind of a pathfinder in terms of TV, and it’s nice on a show that is original. I think we’ve got some amazing writers, and Joss Whedon’s been nominated for an Oscar. I don’t like to see the Emmys being scared off. We’d all be proud if nominated, but I think with being neither [exclusively] a comedy nor a drama, I think our show gets overlooked because of that. We’ve got a lot of critics, and a lot of magazines and newspapers and everyone else, saying it’s one of the best shows on TV, and it’s kind of weird to have that happen.

CM: We’re huge Homicide fans, but we wrote that the Buffy episode of “Passion” at the very least deserved an Emmy nomination. I think you guys got nominated for a couple of technical awards.
NB: Right, technical, which is great! But, you know, we all, and the writers, and Joss, work their asses off. Not that they’re working for an Emmy, nor have they even discussed this with me [laughter], but it would be so nice for someone to say, “Wow, you’re doing a good job.” Or a Golden Globe for that matter. Maybe it’ll happen one day, and I’ll be very, very, very proud of the guys.

CM: You worked for a short time as a production assistant on Dave’s World. Do you have ambitions to work behind the camera in some capacity down the road?
NB: [Pause] In some capacity down the road, perhaps yeah. [Laughter]

CM: I didn’t know whether you had background training in direction or something?
NB: No, no.

CM: There’s been talk of an Angel series next year.
NB: Yeah, there is one.

CM: Are you going to be part of both series, or just Buffy?
NB: Buffy.

CM: Being in a weekly TV series can be somewhat of a grind. Do you plan on staying around for a while?
NB: That’s out of my hands, but I would like to stay. It’s fun, a lot of fun. I guess just see what happens. You never know. Death can really up ratings! [Laughter]

CM: Joss does seem to have this tendency to eliminate fairly regular characters, such as Miss Calendar last year!
NB: He loves that. He likes to go against the grain, in a sense. And he knows what people want – or don’t want, for that matter, but they don’t want it so badly they want it.

CM: Well, let’s hope Xander stays around for a while. Or even if they do kill him off, he could pop up the next week as a vampire – a whole new life as a different character. I thought they might do that with Calendar.
NB: Hey! Exactly!

CM: I guess you can never be completely dead on a show like Buffy.
NB: True.

CM: Do you have any non-Buffy projects lined up?
NB: It’s been nine months of this, so I’m just going to do this and see what happens. Things are kind of in the works, but you just never know what’s going to happen in this wacky, wacky, wacky town.

CM: Anything else you’d like to say about you, or the show, or your character, that I didn’t cover.
NB: Um, let’s see here, uh, no! [Laughter] I think Calista Flockhart’s pretty, I see her in a magazine here. Pretty girl. Leave her alone. You can quote me on that, by the way.
CM: You don’t think there will be any backlash?
NB: No backlash!

Interview at Entertainment Asylum
January 1999

OnlineHost: Welcome!!!
Nicholas: Thanks.

OnlineHost: How does it feel to be one of the 50 most beautiful guys ever?
A: I couldn’t be more excited about it… I’m tearing up here. Can we move on to the next question?

Q: Hey Nicholas!! My name is Katie and I think you’re a major hottie!!! Anyway, I was wondering what it was like to have a twin. Does he ever get mistaken for you? If he does, does he play along? Thanks a lot, Luv ya. Bye. - Spunky8421
A: Spunky or Katie? Spunky Katie! Or Katie with Spunk. Um, yes, he does, actually get mistaken for me a lot. There was one time when we were driving to Yosemite and we had driven separately and a busload of teenage girls had recognized him and he said, “No, it’s my twin brother.” And they didn’t believe him and started throwing french fries at him.

OnlineHost: You ever send your twin onto the set?
A: Nah. That is the most-asked single birth: So what’s that like? How is it sharing the womb?

Q: Are we going to see more of Xander in a Speedo this season, or have you sworn never to wear one again? (By the way, you looked great!) - AkiraGrl6
A: You looked great! Follow your nose, it always knows. That’s the advice I give everybody. Speedo - No! However, in a couple weeks I’m gonna be totally naked. As much as you can be for the WB. I can’t really say for what reason. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed why I was naked this time.

Q: Would you ever be in Playgirl? - ZARTWORKZ
A: No, I don’t think I would because — I hope that’s a woman asking that question, first of all. I’ve seen them before and if I could show you the pose it’s very unnatural. I would like to meet a girl who likes to play, but no, not a “Playgirl.”

Q: Hey, my name is Erin, I’m a HUGE fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer! What was your favorite episode and least favorite episode? I’m sure you like them all, as we do, but if you had to pick out those two…what would they be? - Harmony830
A: I wish you could tell me which ones are your favorites. Mine was an episode called “The Pack,” where I was a hyena. My least favorite would be the mummy girl episode. That just didn’t seem to work as well as I wanted it to. Although I really enjoyed the Twinkie scene. I had to vomit afterwards.

Q: What’s with those shades? - EvilMan
A: They’re not really shades, EvilMan, they’re actually called glasses so I could read that. But I’m real glad you noticed, man!

OnlineHost: He is wearing shades in the studio!!!!

Q: So what is Seth Green like? - QueenOz86
A: I can’t really tell, is QueenOz a fan? Seth Green is, if I were to concentrate, add water and I’d grow–that’s Seth Green! We’re hand in hand pretty much. He’s a great guy. One of the nicest people. He’s an amazing person with an amazing heart and an amazing sense of humor. We’re both comedy-based, so one person has to step up and one step down, but we never have a problem being in the same room. He’s tops in MY book!

Q: Nick, if you could be any kind of cheese, what kind would you be? Why? - Godeater
A: I would probably be — I almost said something bad — and I can’t. I was going to go with a venereal disease. Hmm. God, probably a Muenster! I like Muenster. It’s pungent. I like pungent cheeses.

Q: Hi. My name is Cassie, and I love your character, Xander. He reminds of my best friend, Nick. I was wondering, will Xander hook up again? And what will happen with Willow and Oz? - Willow820
A: Interesting. Willow and Oz actually are moving to Germany together to open up a brew house. The other question is basically, pick an answer ’cause I forgot what it was. Just pick an answer and go with it.

Q: I heard that there is going to be a spinoff with David Boreanaz called “Angel.” What do you think it will do to the dynamic (of the show)? - BoobShot
A: Well, you know in a sense, ’cause Chris was also going, who I loved very much. So in a sense, we’re losing four boobs. Or four Bobs. We’re gonna do some crossing over. I don’t know if they are as much as we are. It’s going to be a different show because we graduate. I think it’s going to be a different dynamic, a different show, because there’s only so much you can do with the Angel and Buffy thing. And I think it’s a good way to make some more money! LOL The concept is great, too, which I can’t talk about but I think everybody will be happy with it.

Q: Where did you grow up? - helo
A: I grew up in the San Fernando Valley, actually. I’m from L.A. proper. I love the Dodgers. I almost bought the Dodgers last year, but was like a million short and Rupert came in and got ‘em.

Q: What was your first real Valentines Day like? Don’t make fun, I want advice. - LuvieGirl
A: Well, my first one I was young and you do the passing of the cards, for all the classmates, but for the girl I liked I’d do something extra in the corner. I was 18 years old and wasn’t dating anybody, tragically, and I sold flowers on the corner and I made $110 and I went home and my mom and dad had just gotten divorced so I took my mom out and blew the whole amount on her.

Q: Hey Nicholas!!! Buffy ROCKS!!! I just want to know,If you know what is going to happen further in the season? And how long did it take you to find out that you got the part - TEBfan2308
A: Yes, I knew it was going to happen. And it took me a matter of five days. Four auditions and five days. It was quick. I had come in towards the end and I think they were just horribly desperate. Booking the part made me beautiful. I wasn’t beautiful before Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I had gone to the first audition, just normal, you know, meet the casting director. I went into meet the producers and they liked what I had done and then I got a call from my agent and they said I was testing. And so I went to Fox the next day. That’s where they eliminate four or so people. I wasn’t eliminated. I found out that the next week I was going to the WB. I went there Monday at 4:00 and had a really good audition, as you can tell. And there were two of us there just looking at each other with not much to say. And the next day I got a page saying I got the part. She was crying, I was crying. I got chills. I had to quit my job at a restaurant. Which was a mistake because I wasn’t going to be paid for a while. So I just did any odd job that I could do. I was looking for pennies.

Q: We’ve been brainstorming ideas for poor Xander in the dating game, now that he’s lost Cordy and all. What do you think about Amy, the resident witch, as a possiblity? - AmySM
A: She frightens me! She’s a witch! Normally when you’re dating somebody and you get in a fight you say, “You’re a witch!” She’s really a witch. She’s going over to Angel, but she wasn’t happy with me. Xander wants some action, he wants some play. Charisma is very much, Meisner, is that it? She actually impaled herself the night before shooting that.

Q: Hey, I am a huge fan. I want to know: What was your all time favorite Xander quote? I personally like “I’m 17 - looking at linoleum makes me wanna have sex. - harmony830
A: Well, for me, it’s actually Spanish tiles. My favorite - I’ve had so many - I had this quote about my uncle Rory.

Q: I love the music on Buffy! Is there going to be a soundtrack? - Ittybit1st
A: Yes, there is. I actually sing on it. They’re just picking the songs right now for it. Once I find out when it’s coming out I’ll call you and you’ll let everyone know?

Q: Is it hard being a Vampire? I suppose it would be if you were a method actor.;) - Jrlfg19
A: Well, I mean, I’m not a vampire, so is it hard portraying a vampire?, it was fun. I am a method actor, I didn’t suck human blood, I actually went out to Bakersfield and sucked a few cows dry.

Q: Do you like the clothes that they make Xander wear? Does it reflect your own style? (Matt, what’s with the facial hair???) - Ember
A: Okay, see that’s where I’m saying this is weird. No, I’m not a big fan of the clothes. I’m the nerd on the show and they have to put me in big plaid orange pants with mushrooms and butterflies. What is with the facial hair?

Q: What is Sarah Michelle Gellar like in real life? I want dirt - SoccrGal18
A: Well, then go get some and take a shower afterwards. Um, she’s great. I don’t understand why anyone would think that I would give dirt on Sarah. I describe it as the Real World for five years and not eight weeks. We’re like brother and sister. We all live for each other and would probably die for each other. If someone gets Sarah, they get socked by me. We usually work 26 hours a day. We’re breaking every SAG law that you could break - no! About 12-hour days.

Q: Do you have an e-mail address so we can write to you, or just the Buffy the Vampire Slayer address? - GRNGRP15
A: Yeah, Buffy. Like I said, I don’t have a computer. I would like to get one, but I think they would fight me. I don’t have a computer. I’ve been online a few times with Joss and Seth, but I haven’t read much. I’ll get a computer some day, I swear!

Q: If you could do anything besides act what would you do? - WARD1432
A: Horticulture. I tried doing pre-med for a while. Patch Adams was based on my story. I would hang in trees and scare people I would wear the bottle on my nose. I would say the hospital will pay all your bills and wear the Pinocchio nose.

OnlineHost: We would like to give you a YM shirt If you could autograph this.
A: Well, actually if you could just cut the sleeves off it’ll be a great tank top. Do you want it all sporadic like this?

OnlineHost: Charlie O’Connell is coming up momentarily.
A: Whooo!

Politically Incorrect
January 1999

Bill: Let’s meet our panel. The executive director of the Eagle Forum, Sheila Moloney. Sheila. [Applause] Nice to see you. One of the stars of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” on another channel, as we say, Tuesdays at 8:00 p.m., Nicholas Brendon. Nicholas. [Cheers and applause]

Nicholas: How you doing?

Bill: Thank you for coming. [The other guests (actor Adam West and actress Mackenzie Phillips) are introduced]

Bill:Okay. Look at this, the Batman credit card I was given.

Mackenzie: What can you buy with that?

Adam: Bill, you can go around the world. Uh –

Bill: I know what that means.

Adam: You can buy yourself a yacht.

Nicholas: Your book, perhaps, maybe.

Adam: My — thank you for that.

Nicholas: You’re very welcome, there.

Adam: I like this man. Buy my book, right.

Bill: All right, well, let’s get to the issues. Now, this week, Bob Barr made a big splash in the news. He was a Congressman. He still is a Congressman, I hope for not much longer. And Larry Flynt, we were just doing a little parody of Larry [in the opening monologue].

[Compliments are exchanged about the monologue.]

Bill: Well, and what we’re really showed is that abortion is the kind of issue, where if it’s somebody else’s, they’re a baby killer
and they’re awful. But when it’s your case, you know, it’s — well, come on, you have to have some understanding. And there is a web site called the Nuremberg files. I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but what they do is, they put the names of abortion doctors.
And they — when they’re shot, they cross them off. Now, of course, the supporters of this say it’s free speech. And my question is, how far does free speech go?

Nicholas: But we’re guessing just shot and killed, correct? “I hit him in the knee!” Right?

Bill: Yeah. If they don’t kill them, they only, like –

Nicholas: It’s half a line?

Bill: Right.

Mackenzie:: But they also, on this, they don’t just say — they say “Here are the lists of the butchers.”

Bill: Yes, they do.

Mackenzie:: So they’re inciting violence. They’re not just saying, “Here’s a list of lovely gentlemen who might help you perform an abortion.” They’re saying, “Here are the butchers.” And they give the address of their offices.

Bill: Right.

Adam: Oh, gosh. Is this a hit list?

Bill: And a list of where their kids go to school.

Adam: This is a hit list?

Nicholas: And hit only 12. Which, I mean, if you think about it, it’s just horrible. I mean, not only stupid, but they can’t — they have no aim.

[More discussion]

Nicholas: Why can’t we kill with two things — let’s kill with kindness –

Bill: Sorry, you’re not supposed to say that.

Nicholas: ‘Cause that’s not legal. Is it?

Adam: The mob and certain South American dictators, probably Microsoft who had a hit list.

Sheila: Bill, you could also say that this serves a purpose. I mean, you’ve got web sites that now tell you that you live next door to a child molester. Why shouldn’t you have a right to know you live next door to a guy who kills babies for a living?

Nicholas: Are you joking? Are you serious? Really?

Sheila: Yeah.

Nicholas: You’re using Megan’s Law against somebody who –

Mackenzie: But you think it’s okay to say, “Here are the names of the butchers”?

Sheila: If that’s accurately describing what they do.

Mackenzie: Oh, my gosh.

Nicholas: We’re getting into semantics.

Sheila: This page, I think if violence comes out of it, then that is a horrible thing. And I in no way advocate that.

Adam: It’s the ultimate hypocrisy.

Sheila: What about shame? I mean, these doctors make a pledge that they are going to — they’re supposed to make a pledge to help people.

Nicholas: It’s not illegal. I mean, it’s still legal in this — I need my medication. I’m getting — my heart’s starting to go.

[All talk at once]

Sheila: No, but so these doctors who’ve made a pledge to help people for their lives go and, I believe, hurt people and kill innocent human beings.

Mackenzie: And what about the child that ends up living on the street because the mother couldn’t provide for it?
What about the woman — [Applause] And has to have a baby by a rapist?

Sheila: So we should just go shoot them in the head once they’re born.

Mackenzie: No, that’s what they’re doing to the abortion doctors. They’re going and killing them.

Sheila: But violence begets violence. I think all forms of violence are wrong.

Mackenzie: So they’re saying “Here’s the butchers” and you don’t expect that to make violence?

Nicholas: Hey, I say why don’t we start our own web page and let’s list the abortion people, and let’s start killing them, too. I mean, eye for eye, right?

Mackenzie: Yeah, baby. [Scattered applause]

Nicholas: I mean, it’s that ridiculous.

[More discussion is held, then Bill brings up the inclusion of the schools the children of abortion doctors attend]

Bill: But what do you expect when they do this, when they list the addresses of these people, when they cross their names off the list, when they say where their kids go to school? Don’t you see that as being –

Sheila: They don’t say where their kids go to school.

Bill: They do.

Sheila: I just looked at it.

Bill: Even if they don’t, it’s still egregious. [Laughter] But they do.

Mackenzie: There you go.

Bill: I mean, I’m telling you they do.

Nicholas: What’s the difference? I mean, it’s like so basically we’re going to shoot the doctor who’s gonna, you know, have given abortionS or we’re gonna list where his kid goes to school. I mean, why? So what, that you can kill that kid? The whole thing is ridiculous.

Sheila: I’m not advocating killing abortionists. I’m just saying recognize –

Bill: But it’s easy to distance yourself from it by saying, “I’m not advocating it, but we do have this web site where, if you do it, we’ll congratulate you and cross the name off.”

Mackenzie: Do they even list the person who’s actually performed the assassination?

Bill: That I probably –

Nicholas: That would be stupid, I think. Because then they’re —

Mackenzie: Oh, yeah.

[More discussion is held. Sheila argues that those aborted are "human being"s.]

Sheila: A human being, like you and I were, is a human being.

Bill: But it’s not like you and I.

[All start talking at once]

Nicholas: Do you remember being in your mommy’s womb? Now, I’m a twin. And there were two of us. My mom’s five feet tall. So we didn’t have much room. And I don’t recall that, to be honest with you.

Adam: Is your twin a little guy?

Sheila: Oh, okay. So if you can’t remember something then we can kill you.

Bill: You always say you’re protecting the unborn. Un-born.

Sheila: They’re not born yet.

Bill: Doesn’t that mean something, unborn? Doesn’t that define something that is –

Sheila: Doesn’t that mean that they’re the most vulnerable type of people that there are.

Bill: No, it says they’re not people yet.

Nicholas: It says they’re not born.

[More discussion, then a commercial break. Bill changes the topic to a private organization that pays drug-addicted women to get sterilized.]

Mackenzie: Paying drug addicts to –

Sheila: Take the money then buy more drugs.

Nicholas: Well, right now, I’m a crack user. [Laughter] But I use crack with a “K,” people, okay?

Mackenzie: It makes a difference, you know.

Nicholas: So I’m high as a kite, right, and, Adam, you come up to me and first give me your Batman card, and I say, “Thank you.” And secondly, say, “Here, Nick, have 200 bucks to get sterilized.” And I say, “Cool, I can get more crack.”

Adam: Of course.

Nicholas: Now — well, I’m a man. Say I’m a woman. Nicole.

Mackenzie: You’re a woman, Nicole.

Nicholas: So then you get — I think five years later, I want a kid. Man, I had a really screwed up life back then. Wait. I took $200 to buy crack.

Bill: Right.

Nicholas: It’s horribly wrong, and it’s sad that someone would even have that idea.

Adam: It’s like people selling body parts.

Nicholas: They say this is a good idea. Because you know what?

Bill: Really? I’m for it.

Nicholas: Kids should be — but kids should be like, like my kids. Like Bobby and Cindy. Bobby, Cindy, I think we’re lost.

Adam: No, no.

Nicholas: People change. And the fact of the matter is —

Bill: But if you make that big of a mistake, do you really deserve that second chance?

Mackenzie: But they’re also paying these women to get Norplant or to –

Nicholas: That’s fine. Birth control is cool.

Sheila: Let’s treat them like animals. Because we don’t want riffraff like that around.

Nicholas: I am riffraff.

Mackenzie: I’m riffraff, too, because I’m a recovering addict and alcoholic. And I have an 11-year-old son. And I used while I was pregnant. And that’s something that my son knows about, and that’s something that we’ve discussed. And that’s something that speaks to the absolute desperation of the disease of alcoholism.

Nicholas: It is a disease.

Mackenzie: It’s an absolute — it’s a desperate situation.

Sheila: You love your son, right?

Mackenzie: I absolutely love my son.

Sheila: Do you wish they would have sterilized you when you were having –

Mackenzie: No, I certainly don’t.

Sheila: Talk about not caring –

Mackenzie: Wait, we’re not talking about what kind of women these are. Are these women who are chronic relapsers? Are these women who are dropping babies left and right that die on the streets?

Bill: Yes.

Mackenzie: I don’t know. That’s what I’m saying.

Adam: Three times and you’re out maybe here, huh?

Nicholas: Why don’t we hire — ’cause Lord knows there are people who need jobs. Why don’t they hire little teenage boys and girls to follow people around with condoms. So they have to have protected sex.

[ Talking at once ]

Sheila: You’re missing the whole problem. These are drug addicts. So instead of solving the problem and caring for the people, we’re just saying, “Well, let’s just sterilize them. Because, you know, we don’t want more of them.”

Bill: If you are so irresponsible that you would have a baby, it’s bad enough that you’re addicted to crack, but you would have a
baby addicted to crack, don’t you think that demands some measures?

Sheila: I’m sorry, but I guess I see that the gift of life is a gift to you and, yes, perhaps you shouldn’t have –

Mackenzie: Have you seen these crack babies? Have you seen the footage of these –

Sheila: Are we going to kill those, too?

Mackenzie: I’m not saying that I think that this is necessarily right or wrong. I’m saying that these women should be offered treatment. And if they’re chronically relapsing –

Sheila: Sterilize them?

Mackenzie: I’m not talking about treatment for addiction and alcoholism.

Sheila: I totally agree.

Mackenzie: I’m screaming at you and I apologize for that. I’m a little passionate about it.

Nicholas: I’m next.

[ Talking at once ]

Bill: Hey, wait! Shut up, everybody’s talking at once.

[ Laughter ]

Adam: Otherwise you’re selling body parts, it’s the same thing really.

Mackenzie: You think?

Nicholas: Has it happened to you before?

Sheila: Why aren’t you neutering all the men? Why is it the women, huh? [ Scattered applause ] Why are we the guinea pigs for your little social experiment?

Adam: I’ve sold several body parts.

Nicholas: Good. All right, man, I’m a big fan of yours.

Bill: Men don’t give babies. Men can’t have babies.

Nicholas: We help the process and have a good time.

Bill: I believe she also –

Adam: Irresponsibility is part of the disease.

Bill: Right.

Adam: That hopefully we can find a way to cure. As you obviously were cured or cured yourself, whatever, willpower or whatever device you used or method.

Bill: Right.

Adam: Or method.

Nicholas: Drugs.

Adam: Other drugs.

Mackenzie: Very funny, Nick.

Nicholas: Thank you.

Bill: Isn’t the quality of life just as precious as life itself, if not more? I mean, life itself — [ Applause ]

Nicholas: Yeah, Bill.

Bill: Seems to be terribly easy to come by. But quality –

Sheila: So you’re gonna go around snuffing out all the people who you don’t see that they have a quality of life.

Nicholas: See, it’s not that black and white, though.

[ Talking at once ]

Yeah, maybe some yes, maybe some no. But we can’t have a conversation here in 24 minutes saying, well, it’s gonna be this way or this way. There’s a little middle ground. There’s color TV now. Few years ago there wasn’t. We have color.

Mackenzie: These must be women who are chronic relapsers.

Nicholas: There are many ways to look at this.

Mackenzie: Women who are having children, women who are prostitutes, women who are spreading disease. Women who are having children with HIV. You know? We don’t know the specifics of this. We know sort of the outline of the question, but we don’t really know what the root of this is.

Bill: That’s the way we’re gonna keep it. We’ll be right back. We’ll take a commercial.

Bill: Okay. Now I know we’re talking about some subjects that were very heavy and very disturbing. But I have one here now –

Nicholas: This is the most heavy.

Bill: I think this is even more disturbing. There is a new theme park, I guess you’d call it, like Hard Rock Cafe, all those places, okay. This is like Disney Land, a place where you go, you pay 50 bucks. It’s called Tinseltown. And the object of it is that anybody can go and be treated like a movie star. They have hired people there to treat you like a movie star. People who pretend they’re paparazzi, they’re autograph seekers. And you’re there — for 50 bucks. You’re there on Oscar night –

Mackenzie: They even have — they have screaming fans?

Bill: Right, they have reporters shouting questions, “What’s your next project?” [ Laughter ] “Who are you romantically involved with?”

Nicholas: They actually have one who fondles you. Like, people fondle you.

Bill: And fondle you. For an extra 20 bucks you can get a –

Adam: How serious do the stalkers have to be?

Bill: I don’t know, but I mean, is this not a disturbing thing?

Nicholas: How much does it cost? ‘Cause I’m there, man. ‘Cause I need to be treated like a star.

Mackenzie: It’s $45, the admission.

Bill: $45.

Nicholas: $45. Do you get a mug? A coffee mug with that?

Bill: No.

Mackenzie: We have a –

Bill: Because you’re a star.

Nicholas: You’re a star, baby, you’re a star.

Bill: You wouldn’t need a coffee mug.

Nicholas: Call me.

Adam: I think there’s a problem here.

Bill: What is it?

Adam: It’s one of balance. They sell you a ticket, maybe, the family for a day to be treated like a star, a celebrity, for a day, two hours. The balance is wrong, because they will never know what it’s like to be a celebrity until they buy a ticket for two to three years. [ Laughter ]

Nicholas: Every day? Are we talking like –

Adam: Yes, every day.

Mackenzie: But wait a minute.

Nicholas: Maybe that’s why they don’t put a park out, think about it.

Bill: You’re saying there’s a down side?

Adam: There’s a down side.

Bill: Which is?

Adam: They have to spend two or three years at Tinseltown to really know –

Nicholas: But, no, no –

Adam: To really know what it’s like to be a celebrity.

Mackenzie: No, the up side is that they don’t ever have to work.

Bill: Yeah.

Mackenzie: They just go there and hang out and get treated like stars. They don’t have to stand out in the rain.

Bill: It’s so narcissistic. It’s like a –

Sheila: Thank you. I agree.

Nicholas: Well, you’re thinking narcissism, narcissism.

Sheila: Well, it’s just so shallow. And it’s like fame for fantasy.

Mackenzie: Yeah, but this country is fascinated with celebrities.

Nicholas: See, I would go to Tinseltown, not because of the star –

Adam: It’s a culture driven by celebrityhood, in a sense.

Nicholas: But because of the craft. Because I truly believe in it. [ Laughter ]

Bill: The people who are playing the people who are mobbing the people who go to the park are themselves out-of-work
actors.

Adam: Right. Right.

Mackenzie: It’s so sad.

[ All talking at once ]

Nicholas: Every day they had like a $1,000 giveaway, where the people who are mobbing these people, they have like a hidden celebrity. And the first person to find them got some money.

Bill: Right.

Adam: Would you volunteer?

Mackenzie: My son wants to go to Tinseltown. And I’m thinking, “I can’t take him to Tinseltown.” I can’t take my kid to Tinseltown.

Bill: You shouldn’t take your kid to Tinseltown.

Mackenzie: He read the article in “The New York Times.”

Sheila: Your son reads “The New York Times” at 11?

Mackenzie: Yeah. I have a really bright kid.

Bill: He read what?

Mackenzie: “The New York Times”.

Nicholas: Do you guys all read here?

Mackenzie: Yeah. [ Laughter ]

Bill: But it — doesn’t it sort of give the message that there’s a disconnect between hard work and achievement?
I know it doesn’t look like celebrities work hard to get where they are, but I mean, you know, everybody here did.
Everybody knocked around and knocked on the –

Sheila: Yeah.

Bill: What?

Nicholas: I knocked on some people.

Adam: And you know, like you said, you could work at Tinseltown and be one of the paparazzi, and knock around for awhile
and maybe get discovered, you know. But I’m sure that’s a dream. We are amusing ourselves to death.

Bill: Right.

Adam: We have theme parks of every possible disguise and flavor. And I don’t know what’s gonna happen. This will become one huge amusement park.

Nicholas: Did you ride your coaster over at Six Flags?

Adam: Damn right.

Nicholas: Have ya?

Adam: Why?

Nicholas: Well, ’cause there’s actually, over in Tinseltown, there’s gonna be a Xander ride. It’s a whirligig of fun. Yeah, that’s my character’s name, Bill, in case you didn’t know that.

Bill: We have to take a commercial. [Applause]

Bill: All right. I only have a little time. We’re talking about people who want the experience of being a celebrity. Let me ask these celebrities, did you ever have sex in a limo? Yes or no?

Mackenzie: Yes.

Nicholas: Yes.

Bill: Batman?

Adam: Only in Tinseltown.

[A bit more discussion, then the show ends.]

Starburst Magazine

Nicholas Brendon and James Marsters entertained the crowds at Creations Buffy convention in November. Judy Sloane presents some highlights.

NB.com note: The following are excerpts from the article that include Nicholas:

Nicholas Brendon on what he would change about Xander:
“I would probably have some sort of super power. I don’t have any powers [in the show]. Willow’s a witch, Buffy’s the slayer, Giles is the watcher, Oz is a werewolf — I would have some sort of power like moving at the speed of light.”

Nicholas Brendon on Xander’s dislike of Angel:
“Because he’s a threat to me. He’s an attractive vampire. I think Buffy still has feelings for me. Once Angel goes onto his own show, there will be an opening and I might apply for a position!”

Nicholas Brendon on the death of Principal Flutie:
“We had some problems with eating people in the show, so that probably won’t happen again for a while. The censors just don’t like that stuff!”

Nicholas Brendon on Xander’s past:
“They didn’t give me a background for Xander. They said, ‘You went to high school?’ I said, ‘Yeah.’ [That was it.] So I’m not sure where Xander comes from. I haven’t met my parents yet. I think it would be cool if I had somebody really cool as my father, like George Hamilton.”

Nicholas Brendon on practical jokes on the set:
“Typically, we’ll work and we’ll laugh, but the practical jokes take time and thinking about. Last year I took a shaving cream pie and put it in Tony’s [Stewart Head, Giles] face and found out that he had an important meeting. So they tend to backfire. Tony is probably my best friend out of all the people on the show, which is very strange because he’s so mature. He’s very lovely and has a great sense of humor.”